Right before my family was to leave for a mission trip to Mexico, my little brother had a seizure.  He’s doing well, but he had to have a lot of tests done, so my family ended up not going to Mexico.  We are still waiting for some of the test results.  But he feels fine & has been allowed to return to most of his normal activities.  My mom even lets him out of her sight every once in a while.  As a matter of fact, he and I are going to Six Flags in the afternoon for a concert (Relient K).

As I think I’ve mentioned before, everything is pretty much up in the air for me.  It’s so weird being done with school.  It’s like I have this big wide field stretched out around me and I can go in any direction I choose.  But I have no idea where I’m headed, so it’s hard to take even one step.

I still don’t know anything about the job I applied for with the MO Baptist Convention (which would keep me in Columbia).  I have had a few job offers from other places in Columbia, but none of them will provide insurance and they are all very low paying.  So I’m not sure if I could actually afford to stay in Columbia unless I get the MO Bap job.  So I haven’t done much about a new place to live yet either.  I’ve been watching the classifieds online just to know what is available.  But until I have a job nailed down, I don’t really feel like I should sign a lease.

I’m not sure what I will do if the MO Bap job doesn’t work out.  I really don’t feel that I can live in St. Louis with my family long-term.  There are some issues that would make that really difficult for me.

I’m kind of considering leaving Missouri.  It might be easier for me to find the kind of job I’m looking for in another region.  But I don’t really know if that’s the best thing for me to do right now.  Some of my motivation for leaving the state is purely escapist.  There are some situations here that I don’t like dealing with, and if I get out of the state, they will be less of an issue.  But I know that that’s hardly a good enough reason to move somewhere!  And I know starting over in a new place would be hard – especially finding a church.  But then, I know I shouldn’t stay in Columbia simply because I’m comfortable there.  I keep going back to the talk that Boyd gave on making decisions in the gray areas.  But the problem is that I don’t know what it is that I WANT to do.  Nothing seems to stand out as The Thing to Do.  Everything has it’s pros and cons.

Anyway, that’s kind of what’s on my mind lately.