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James: “Maybe they were sitting underneath your armpit, but I don’t fit there.”

Kate: “Take a cup of puppy chow!”

Paul: “Do dolphins have condoms?”

Paul, about the Testicle Festival: “It’s a good thing I’m not a girl so I can eat them and not get pregnant.” And after hearing that’s not possible…“Well, what if they’re human? And raw?”

Paul, looking at steak: “You know, a cow looks kind of like this in real life.”

Paul, referring to the male reproductive system James was diagramming on himself: “It’s kind of like a thermometer.”

Paul: “JC Rocks is about the miracle of childbirth.”

Paul, while watching Bubble Bobble: “Marijuana would go great with this.”

Brie, in reference to Donkey Kong: “Those are dead-end ropes – kind of like life without Jesus.”

Kelly: “I don’t mix beer and boys.”

Brie: “The jeans are fresh.”

Kate: “You can’t leave without a cup of puppy chow.”

Stevi: “I like small, fast cars.”
James, to Stevi: “You must be a small, fast female.”

Meghann: “Whore-able” Brie: “As in ‘able to be whored.’”

Brie: “It would be really cool if I got arrested… like right now.”
Stevi: “You are the very essence of Paul.”
Paul: “Thanks… I think.”
Stevi: “Well, would you rather someone else be the essence of Paul?”

James: “I’m the stand-in boyfriend… like a hotel bed.”

Kate: “I’ve liked it since I was six, so it’s probably not a pregnant thing.”

Kate: “It’s nothing personal, it’s just my butt.”

Aaron: “Where’d all the spoons go?… Oh.”

Val: “Last time I got a fortune cookie, it was empty.”
Brie: “That’s unfortunate.”

Paul (about mountains): “I love to be on them. I, like, hug the trees and stuff.”

Paul: “I live life in retrospect.”

Kate: “I want a virgin rum & coke.”

James: There’s a rope that hangs down over the creek so you can swing into it and swim down there.
Laura Lautenschlager: And go skinny dipping!

James: (while driving a fellow staff member’s ridiculously huge pickup truck, to Scott): Man, this feels so good I’m going to have to repent later!