I don’t know if you read Eva’s xanga, but she had a link to her pastor’s blog, and there was an entry that was just incredible:


28 July 2005


Never before have I seen the stark contrast of good and evil as I have seen in Amsterdam. Never have I more strongly felt the presence of evil and sickness as I have here. Never before have I looked in the face of evil as I did yesterday.

I don’t know if I can describe the experience I had yesterday. I don’t think I can paint a clear enough picture of the event, though I will try.

Yesterday four of us stood on a bridge in the red light district of Amsterdam. Like every Tuesday we were praying for the city and reaching out to drug addicts and dealers. As I was standing on the bridge watching the people of all ages, race, class, and nationality pass before me, I prayed a simple prayer. Little did I know the answer to my prayer would come so quickly and clearly? Little did I know the magnitude of what I asked to see?

As I looked upon the many comers and goers I prayed, “God open my eyes, let me see the spiritual realms and understand what is happening in this place.”

It was only a few minutes later when Andrew approached us. He was looking for “Excalibur”, a local bar. He was about my age and looked like a normal guy, other than the word “Fuck” on his sweat shirt. We asked Andrew if he lived in the area. He proceeded to tell us a story, not just a story, his story, one I will never forget.

Two weeks early a relationship of his went sour. She was the second person he ever loved. What better to do than head to Amsterdam, indulge in every possible sin and forget his pain? His sole mission: smoke as much crack as he could and sleep with as many prostitutes as possible.

As we were conversing we told him we were Christians, “oh, I know the New Testament very well” he said. And he did. Andrew proceeded to tell us a dark and disturbing tale, “I have rejected God” he said. “I have not only turned my back on God, but I have made it my aim to hurt him as much as possible.” “How do plan on hurting him?” we asked. “By hurting those he loves, the creatures created in his image” Andrew responded. “I know I am going to hell and I want to bring as many people with me as I can.”

“My problem is pride” Andrew continued. “I will not bow my knee to God. I refuse to admit my need of his salvation, it would be an act of moral cowardice.” Andrew began referencing stories of pride in Persian mythology and the book “Paradise Lost” by John Milton. He began to talk about the devil and his demons. “The Bible says there will be a day all of us will stand before God and every knee shall bow. God is going to have to break my knees, because I will not bow.”

He looked at us and chuckled, “You Christians, you always talk about winning the battle. You don’t get it. We know we’ve lost. We’re not trying to win. We’re trying to take as many down with us as we can.” “We” I said, “who do you mean by we”, “the legions, the devil and his demons” he replied in a calm manner. “We hate you, for you are the loved and we are the forsaken.”

Andrew continued, “Most people in this world don’t know whom they are serving. They are blind to the spiritual forces. They are slaves to the master of this world. You know what the devil wants; he doesn’t want you to suffer in this world, because when people suffer, they turn to God. He wants you to be distracted. He wants you to have a nice house, with a nice income and lots of entertainment, anything to keep you sedated.”

“So” I said, “what is it you don’t want people to know about God?” “We don’t want people to know He loves them. His love is dangerous. We want to keep the people blind.”

“The world is fortunate I am a small man, if I had money and power I would hurt a lot of people. I would do tremendous evil. You see these crack heads on the street, I’ll give them money, but first I make them renounce Jesus as their Lord and Savior. I make them say it out loud. I make them condemn themselves for a Euro, or a hit of crack.”

Andrew continued, “I had a Christian friend once, he invited me to a Thanksgiving dinner, to be nice and because he thought I would be lonely on my own. What he didn’t understand, is that I don’t get lonely, I am loneliness, my soul is a barren wasteland, I am desolate and dead inside. I feel nothing.”

Andrew then proceeded to open his life to us.

“I was adopted when I was three” he said. “When my adopted parents got me they found cigarette burns up and down my back.” “I don’t remember anything from my first three years of life, all I know, is enough bad stuff happened to really fuck me up. In high school I was tested and diagnosed as a sociopath, I have no remorse or guilt; I have no love for people, only hatred.”

“The only love I felt was with my last girlfriend. It was the first time I felt emotions. I began crying when I watched sad movies, I was like “what the fuck is happening to me.” I felt myself changing. Love changes a person, it’s dangerous. Now the relationship is over and I’m back to my self, my heart is dead again. After experiencing all this, I figure there may be a possibility for me to accept God’s love, but it would only be possible through another persons love.”

Andrew continued “There is one thing I fear.” “What is that?” we responded. “I fear demons have influenced my thinking, making me unable to think for myself on these matters. I have thought about asking God to rid me of all demonic influence for a period of 30 days, in order to see if the things I have told you are my thoughts or demon influenced.” “Why not ask him?” I responded “Isn’t it worth knowing, I mean, you are talking about spending all of eternity apart from God, in hell, wouldn’t you want to know if your thinking was wrong?” “Yes I would” Andrew replied.

“You can pray right now and ask him” I said. “O.K.” he replied. We bowed our heads and Andrew prayed this prayer. “Jesus, you know I hate you, you know I want nothing to do with you, but I want to ask you, if you will listen to me, remove any demonic influenced thinking in my life, give me 30 d
ays of clarity, so I can know if these are my thoughts or the thoughts of others.” Andrew then allowed me to pray for him too.

We continued to talk for some time.

“Why are you in Amsterdam?” he said to me. “I came here over two years to start a church.” “So, you are doing His work.” “Yea, I am his servant.” “Its too late here, we already own this city. Just look around. We’ve won here.” As I looked around, it was as if my eyes were opened. I saw red lights, sex shops, drug addicts and drug dealers. I saw tourist with cameras. I saw souls imprisoned, minds blinded and hearts hardened. I saw evil oppressing and hatred stealing people’s lives. I saw sickness and devastation. I saw Andrew’s reality. I saw a city blinded to love and truth. It was horrifying.

I answered back, “yeah, you may be right, but we are snacking souls out of this hell, one at a time.”

As we were finishing our conversation, I thanked Andrew for his honesty and for not pretending who he was truly serving. I also let him know, that by talking with us, he was actually helping to serve the kingdom of God. He replied “I know! I hate that, He always turns our evil into good.”

Please join with me in praying for Andrew for the next 30 days. It was no small thing that Andrew asked God for help. I believe God knows Andrew and heard his plea. As Andrew said himself, “If I were to become a Christian, I know I would be a very powerful servant for God. But I don’t think I could bear the remorse I would feel for all the evil I have done. If I would turn to God I would have to admit my wrong and I don’t think I could take it, I don’t think I am strong enough to bear it.”

God is strong enough to bear it, he bore it on a cross.


posted by Todd @ 10:27 AM 15 comments