I wrote this a few weeks ago, and felt the need to revisit it after a situation this weekend with my relatives…
Just this past Friday, Aaron and I had a teary time on our couch. I’d just backed out of a bike-riding date with him, because when we started on the ride, I had a silly little accident. He had basically told me to “buck up”, brush myself off and keep going. Instead, I threw a tantrum and went back in the house, whining about how I’m not good enough, and he should just go by himself.
Like many broken people, I have voices from my past telling me why I’m not “good enough.” And my own voice says it on a regular basis. But I never hear those words from Aaron. And this time, he’d had enough. He told me how much he hates hearing me criticize myself. Because, after all, he said, he thought I was good enough to marry, so I’m not junk. He said I should look at myself the way he does.
My dear husband wanted to have a fun bike ride with his wife. He goes on many bike rides alone to relieve stress and burn off energy, but this time HE WANTED ME! He didn’t want to ride off, leaving me sulking on the couch. And he didn’t care if I slowed him down, or if I made mistakes, or if I got tired and asked to turn back early. He wanted my company, because I AM GOOD ENOUGH. I am his beautiful bride, and have no right calling myself ugly names.So I’m going to go home tonight and shine up my wedding ring as my Symbol. My husband picked me out as his precious diamond. Therefore I shouldn’t allow the crud in my life to dull my shine. And the trinity knots on my ring will remind me that God also chose me as his bride. Who am I to berate or belittle the Bride of Christ? Whenever I’m tempted to give up because of a mistake, or tempted to berate myself and say ugly things about myself, I’m going to look at my wedding ring and remember that I was chosen. I am good enough.