by Marla Cilley (FlyLady)

We all hate change! I mean we really hate it! If the truth be known it is not that we hate change we are afraid of it. What are we really afraid of?


This is why we don’t tell anyone in the family about FlyLady and the new thing we are trying. We don’t want them rolling their eyes and making fun of us while we are taking babysteps.

Many of you still don’t believe that babysteps will work. This is why you push yourself so hard and listen to those negative voices in your head. It is bad enough that we are put down by our family for trying something different, but when we recycle those voices and belittle ourselves with their negativity we are not loving ourselves.

On January 1, 1999; I was just like you. I was desperate to get my home in order. I was afraid that people were going to find out my dirty little secret. That secret was that we lived in clutter and CHAOS. Here I had married my sweet darling and he deserved a nice house to come home to. If the truth be known it wasn’t about a nice home for me. I was saddled with guilt because Robert loved me just the way I was. All I wanted was to be a good wife to him.

My only desire was to get our home clean. That day as I looked hard at why Pam and Peggy’s card file system had never worked for very long for me. It was because I tried to do too much too fast and I crashed and burned. I examined their system in great detail and found that I had never established any habits. I just allowed the cards to tell me what to do. Then I realized that our clutter had invaded every room in our home. The clutter had to go for me to find our home underneath it. 

This is when I had an epiphany! Now when I look back at that moment I am cry because it all seemed so simple. All I had to do was be nice to myself and quit allowing those negative voices to fill my head with fear and self-loathing because I was not perfect.

It really is simple. You have me to hold your hands and walk you though this one babystep at a time. You are not alone anymore. If I can do this you can too! You don’t have to suffer another day. I have tools to help you. I used these same tools to help me. I can show you the pitfalls of our perfectionism so that you can protect yourself from that clutter in your mind.

It was only after I started to be nice to myself for the very first time in my life that I was able to get my life together. It took me nine months of giving birth to a new me and nurturing myself all along the way. I taught myself to have fun and enjoy the process instead of pushing myself till I gave up.

We don’t have to throw in the towel ever again. We can take babysteps. These babysteps include filling your head with good stuff and decluttering the negativity.  I know you can do this. If I can get my home and life in order anything is possible. Please be kind to yourself and go shine your sink and commit to FLYing! Finally Loving Yourself is the key!