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A collection of tweets that amused me in the last week:

@abrahampiper: I’m gonna change the world today! …infinitesimally, just like everyone else.

@steven_moffat: See me? Tweeting FROM THE TARDIS!!!

@AmandaKingston: my dad is on facebook. life as we know it is over.

@aaronferguson: Powerlines are powerless against my spot healing brush. zap-zap-zap!!!

@ianberriman: So, I’m on the train, and this tentacle-faced alien just picks up MY magazine and starts reading it! How Ood is that?

@prodigaljohn: If you listen closely, you can hear pastors writing Chilean miner sermon illustrations. New SCL. http://bit.ly/c4lC0C

@abrahampiper: Jesus thinks he’s God’s gift to women.

@ActuallyNPH: Babies!! On 10/12, Gideon Scott and Harper Grace entered the Burtka-Harris fold. All of us are happy, healthy, tired, and a little pukey.

@mindykaling: Kill me, if, as I age, I become a “brassy old broad”.

@louiegiglio: Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.

@prodigaljohn: Guy in airport hitting on girl is wearing a necktie & Teva sandals. That ain’t helping his chances. Ladies, am I wrong?

@AmandaKingston: i wish there was a job that paid me to eat cheetos and watch grey’s and not shower. i would like that job very much.

@feliciaday: Guys I’m eating at a two Michelin star restaurant and they brought me a tiny chair for my PURSE! #livinglarge http://yfrog.com/j0p2bej

@edcourtney7: Old man alert: At Sufjan show, Garrett tries to go back to car to get his glasses. #fb

@SheilaWalsh: Lessons learned from my dog-before getting out of bed stretch thoroughly….then go back to sleep

@BearGrylls: off to the Arctic today to film the next episode… always a bit nervous. (good to know Philippians 4:13)

@kingofkrump: I love my MOM so much!!!!!!!!!!! Everytime I hug her I never wanna let go!!!!!!! She’z jus so #Bucc!!!! #Luvmesome MAMA “C”

@simonpegg: Spelling mistakes on Twitter are like lost hikers in national parks. The vultures always get them before the rescue team does.

@GreatestQuotes: “If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.” – Jim Rohn

@ActuallyNPH: Happy International SUIT UP Day, everybody! Hope you wore them with pride. Yeah. International Suit Up Day. Stops time. Tell your friends.